how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
