Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
