Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
