Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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