At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
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