I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Randomize
