I could make wine with my vomit
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize