I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
