So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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