also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
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Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
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I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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