guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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