Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
last night I used snow as a chaser
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
