just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
