there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It's never too late to be topless.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
