I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Randomize
