ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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