When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
