Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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