sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
do herpes really smell.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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