My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
