How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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