You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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