You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
