The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
