what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
