I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
