so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Pants are for mortals
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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