We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
