There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
