no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
