Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
