my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
