It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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