I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
