That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
