You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
