found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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