he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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