next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
