She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
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Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
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You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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