I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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