I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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