saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
A bitchslap is in order.
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