6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
