No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
