alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
