guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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