I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
