Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
