She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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