shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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