Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
