3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
