How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
