8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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