Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
