so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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