If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
