I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
